Monday, July 11, 2011

Acceptance and Change

I have a younger sister who has been on this big health kick for quite some time now. Well, I guess you could say that it is more of a lifestyle change. Either way, her newest focus has been on running. I felt led to give her encouragement recently in order for her to not give up on this new found passion, but instead to try harder. Giving this encouragement while doing little to no activity myself left me feeling a little hypocritical though. So, I decided to ask my sister in joining me on the Couch to 5K program. Ugh. What did I do? There are few different things that started going through my mind as I decided to dedicate myself to this program. I wanted to share my thoughts with you.

I have been big pretty much my whole life. I mean, seriously, for as long as I can remember I felt like the "bigger" girl out of everyone else around me. Over the past year or so, I have been on a journey to accept myself along with the idea of overall body acceptance for everyone. When my doctor presented me with the idea of having Crohn's disease, it was then particularly difficult. There was a huge struggle within myself between acceptance and being disappointed because I was now dealing with a disease that seems to deal so highly with food. It made me really begin to question the way that I have treated my body and how I could really be loving myself fully, yet causing these issues possibly at the same time. Although I have been reassured that there is nothing I did that caused Crohn's, I do feel that there is a change that could happen in order to avoid further complications or damage. I feel that I will always be a more "full-sized" woman and I am actually okay with that. So, although I still want to be able to love me in the current state I am in, I also know that I can become healthier overall. It is really something that feels like a back and forth struggle right now. I stand completely behind body diversity and positivity, yet I know that I could still be myself just healthier. I guess what I am saying is, I feel that I am not loving me to the fullest right now due to the medical happenings as of recently. I would be more of a hypocrite by doing nothing yet saying that I am loving me the best that I can. Yes?

Other than that, I just wanted to let you know that today was day one. It wasn't fun, of course, but I was just proud that I even got up to do it. I'll try to keep you all updated from time to time on how this process is going. Here are some super attractive before and after pictures.


Until next time. <3

3 comments:

  1. I'm proud of you, Love. It really is a life style change and if you get into a routine it will feel more uncomfortable on the days you don't do it than the days you do. I did the couch to 5k last summer for like a week... maybe I'll join you. We'll talk. ;) I love you! Keep up the good work.

    Ash

    ReplyDelete
  2. Look at you go! You are an amazing person that cares so much for others and I admire you. Just wanted you to know that. Hope this goes well for you and your sister. Yay!

    ReplyDelete
  3. So proud of you! You're super amazing, always have been always will be!

    ReplyDelete