I have been big pretty much my whole life. I mean, seriously, for as long as I can remember I felt like the "bigger" girl out of everyone else around me. Over the past year or so, I have been on a journey to accept myself along with the idea of overall body acceptance for everyone. When my doctor presented me with the idea of having Crohn's disease, it was then particularly difficult. There was a huge struggle within myself between acceptance and being disappointed because I was now dealing with a disease that seems to deal so highly with food. It made me really begin to question the way that I have treated my body and how I could really be loving myself fully, yet causing these issues possibly at the same time. Although I have been reassured that there is nothing I did that caused Crohn's, I do feel that there is a change that could happen in order to avoid further complications or damage. I feel that I will always be a more "full-sized" woman and I am actually okay with that. So, although I still want to be able to love me in the current state I am in, I also know that I can become healthier overall. It is really something that feels like a back and forth struggle right now. I stand completely behind body diversity and positivity, yet I know that I could still be myself just healthier. I guess what I am saying is, I feel that I am not loving me to the fullest right now due to the medical happenings as of recently. I would be more of a hypocrite by doing nothing yet saying that I am loving me the best that I can. Yes?
Other than that, I just wanted to let you know that today was day one. It wasn't fun, of course, but I was just proud that I even got up to do it. I'll try to keep you all updated from time to time on how this process is going. Here are some super attractive before and after pictures.
Until next time. <3